Tuesday, November 30, 2010

The End of Static (and Stasis)

I know I've been gone for a while, lovers. Have you missed me as much as I've missed you?  I've been making excuses about being really busy lately, but, truthfully, I've always been busy, and somehow managed to pump out some marginally interesting posts on a fairly regular basis, anyway. So, now the real truth can be told - I've been taking a little bit of a mental break from the blog because I was suffering from a wicked case of writer's block. That fickle wench Creative Inspiration disappeared, leaving me alone and bereft staring at a blank computer screen. So I buried myself in other projects (so much to tell you about!) and let the old blogerooni simmer for a while, and finally my blogging mojo seems to have sidled it's way back to me. So consider this a bit of a renaissance, if you will.

Now, after that dramatic and confessional intro, you might be expecting a real doozy of a post, that will revolutionize bathroom cleaning, or something, and change your perspective and the whole way you think about things and stuff. That's not going to happen. We're going to start the renaissance with just a little tip- a tiplet, if you will - and ease our way back in. After all, we don't want to scare the muses away, again. So, to thank you for sticking with me, and to apologize for all those times you checked in only to see that "Move It" post was still up, for, like, the the twenty-seventh day in a row, I am going to solve one of life's little annoyances- static cling in your clothes- here and now. Maybe you already know these tips, and this will be super-anti-climactic after weeks of waiting for my (triumphant?) return, but, hey, at least you got a new picture to look at.

How to Get Rid of Static Cling

You know how sometimes, as you go through your work day, your clothes seem to take on a life of their own, and be drawn like magnets to each other and your body? And then your hair starts sort of sticking up on end, and you get that unpleasant electrical-charge feeling all over your body (this especially tends to happen when you are wearing tights or clothes made out of synthetic material)? If you don't know what I'm talking about, congratulations on avoiding this common problem, but you should probably go to a doctor to get checked out because there's a good chance you are an alien.

There are three no-fail methods that will cure you of the cling:

Method #1: Dryer Sheets
Not to put in your dryer, silly (although that might help with the cling, it also leaves a residue on all your clothes and prevents your towels from absorbing as much). Instead, keep a box of dryer sheets handy in your desk at work (or one or two in a Ziplock in your purse), and if the cling attacks, simply rub one of the sheets over your clothes and hair. I don't know why, but it works. I'm pretty sure this is one of those mysteries that science hasn't figured out yet, like what's smaller than a quark or the Loch Ness Monster (that was poorly phrased- most things are smaller than the Loch Ness Monster, probably, but you know what I mean).

 Method #2: Hand Lotion
If you don't happen to have a dryer sheet handy, there's a decent chance you'll at least be able to find some hand lotion. Pour a tiny bit into your hand and work it into your skin underneath where the clothes are clinging. Be very careful not to get it on your clothes in the process, as lotion will leave greasy marks on some fabrics. But for some reason, the lotion will kill the static, and your clothes will start to behave again. Once you have rubbed in all the lotion, gently run your hands over your hair to tame the wildness without looking like you haven't showered in a few days.

Method #3: Hairspray
In a real pinch, you can spray hairspray on your legs or skin to keep the clothes from clinging. But what's worse- static cling, or hairspray on your skin?

photo credit: via jbcurio on flickr


traceycullen said...

I am a big fan of the hairspray routine in an extreme emergency, but it definitely leaves me feeling sticky and icky. Thanks for the dryer sheet idea, I am going to put some in tonight!

Jessica said...

Yay! Glad to have you back, with the creative writing juices flowing. I'm going to have to try the dryer sheet trick. Thanks!

Sara said...

Glad you've returned, Lil!
I would like to mention that rubbing dryer sheets on long-haired pets (especially during the Winter) should help with 'static fur' and dry skin. My Cat loves them and she usually doesn't like much.