Soda Damn Good: 7 Unexpected Uses for Baking Soda

In this topsy-turvy world, one thing you can count on is that there will always be scores of new cleaning and beauty products released to the market each year.  And most of those are overpriced and so full of chemicals and additives that they are secretly poisoning you and the environment while they do their job (which is fine if they actually work - I mean, I'll do just about anything for very white sheets). But, meanwhile, little did you know that there is a completely non-toxic, inexpensive cleaning and beauty product that has been in the market for years, and that you probably already have in your pantry: Baking Soda.  Your grandparents knew that there isn't much this miracle powder can't do around the house (but somehow they forget to pass that info on to you). Here's just a sampling of what it's good for- it's versatility will blow your mind. Oh, and it's good for baking stuff, too.


7 Unexpected Uses for Baking Soda

1. Smell You Later: For some scientific reason I don't entirely understand, baking soda absorbs odors. I explored it's incredible ability to de-stinkify my husband's boat shoes in a post last summer, and it also works to keep your fridge and freezer from smelling too foody (just open the lid of a box and place it on the shelf), can make your pet smell more bearable (just sprinkle it directly on them and brush it through their fur). Or use it to deoderize your garbage can, gym bag, or laundry hamper (just sprinkle directly in there, and wipe out a few hours later), or throw a layer down onto your rugs (then vacuum it up) to make them fresher. Basically, if something stinks, the answer is baking soda.

2. Don't Get Burned: When you accidentally overcook something, and it leaves a burnt-on crusty residue on your pans, you can either spend hours developing carpel tunnel syndrome scouring it off by hand, or you can leave the job to your new friend, baking soda. Simply sprinkle baking soda on the pan, fill it with water, put it on the stove and bring to a boil. The gunk will come right off. This method also works for the rack on your grill (no need to boil, just soak overnight). How does it work? I don't know! Stop questioning the baking soda!

3. Silver Metal: Baking soda works as a gentle silver polish, too. Just mix six tablespoons of baking soda with two tablespoons of water to form a paste. Rub the paste onto the silver with a soft rag, and then rinse. Oooh, shiny!

4. I Feel Pretty: If your hair feels weighed-down with product or artificial color, add a few tablespoons of baking soda to your shampoo to revitalize it. You can also pat some under your arms as a deodorant, use it as toothpaste, use it as a facial scrub, add it to your bathwater to soften your skin, or mix it with water and use it as a mouthwash.  Who knew one product could look so good?

5. The Best Medicine: Would you believe me if I told you baking soda can also work medicinally to cure what ails you? Well, it can. Mix a teaspoon of baking soda with water and drink it to relieve heartburn or indigestion, or make a paste with water and rub it on burns and bug bites to take out the sting or the itch. It will also dry out rashes from diapers or poison oak or ivy.

6. You're Fired. I know what you're thinking- "What else can baking soda do for me?" Don't worry, I'm going to tell you. You can use baking soda to put out small fires from grease, ashes, or candles. Just dump the powder on the flames to extinguish them (using water or trying to smother the fire with a towel might spread the flames).

7. Arrest Pests: Despite how awesome it is, not everyone likes baking soda. Sprinkle it on your window sills or near door jams to repel ants and other bugs. Sprinkle it around your garden plants to repel rabbits and other animals from eating them. Amazing!

Take the Plunge

I've been contemplating writing this post for months, but keep managing to delay its publication. Why? Because I like writing about pretty, pleasant things, and this is decidedly not that. But, on further evaluation, I have decided that this is a skill that every self-reliant person must have in his or her arsenal. It's happened to almost everyone (and probably will again) - you are at a restaurant or a friend's house, you put a little too much of something down the toilet, and suddenly you are trapped in a small bathroom with a rapidly filling toilet and a party waiting for you outside the door. Handled incorrectly, this nastiness can result an extremely embarrassing and, ahem, crappy situation. But handled correctly, you'll be back at the cocktail party in no time, with no one the wiser.

How To Unclog A Toilet

1. Don't Panic. Stop jiggling the handle and trying to flush- you'll only cause more water to fill the bowl and potentially overflow it. Resist the urge to climb out the window and run home. If the water level is still rising, look on the wall behind the toilet for a knob and turn it all the way to the right. This will turn off the water flowing to the toilet. Lift any rugs, mats or linens off the bathroom floor and hang them over a rod or hook, just in case things get messy.

2. Start Bailing. If the water level is full to the top of the bowl, you will need to remove some of it. This is super gross, but find a cup, dish or bowl in the bathroom to use as a bailing tool, and remove enough water bring the water level down a few inches.

3. Plunge In. Grab a plunger. You will want to use the flange kind (as opposed to the cup kind, which is for sinks). If you are at someone else's house, pray that they are well-prepared and that your karma is in order, so that there is already a plunger in the bathroom. Otherwise, use your cell phone to call your husband or closest friend at the party, and have them discreetly ask the hosts for one (I am literally blushing as I type this, I feel so sorry for you, and it isn't even happening for real). Put the suction cup end into the toilet, covering the hole forming as good a seal as you can. Vigorously plunge the handle up and down several times, as hard as you can. Really put some muscle into it. (You may want to run water in the sink while you are doing this to mask the sound). Repeat until the water starts to drain from the toilet (Congrats- that means the clog has cleared).

4. Clean and Clear. Turn the water back on, and flush the toilet until the bowl is clean and cleared out. Use toilet paper to wipe up any spilled water (ugh), return the mats to the floor, and then thoroughly wash and scrub your hands and arms up to your elbows. Take a deep breath, reapply your lipstick, and then walk out of the bathroom like nothing happened.

Ask Me Anything: Wedding Daze

In case you are new here, Ask Me Anything is a feature on this site where I field reader questions to the best of my ability. The questioners get moderately useful information, and I get out of thinking up my own topic for one day, and get to act like a total know-it-all. So everybody wins. Email your own burning questions to lily@acharmedwife.com, or leave a comment on the site, and I will do my best to relieve the burning. Today's question comes from Chloe, who writes me on behalf of her engaged friend. I know what you're thinking- "Sure, Chloe. It's for your 'friend'" - But actually, Chloe is one of my lifelong besties, and she's already been married for years and has a baby, so unless she's leading some crazy double life, this one actually is for a friend. I hope her friend still likes her after she gets my advice.

Dear Charmed Wife,
I am a bridesmaid in a wedding this summer. The bride's parents are divorced and her mom is footing the bill for the wedding without her father's help. Her concern is that her fiance's family has not offered to help in any way. They haven't offered to pay for the rehearsal dinner or any portion of the wedding expenses, so her mom is bearing the burden for everything. How does she tactfully ask her soon to be in-laws to pitch in without coming across as a rude, spoiled bridezilla (which she is not)? Yikes, please help! Sincerely, Chloe


Chlo, I'm going to address this one directly to the bride, since I imagine you will probably just send her the link to this, anyway, right? Right.

On The Bright Side: First off, congratulations! I always say that one of the best things about weddings is that, through the process of planning one - working together with your intended and one another's families and taking into account all the relatives and wishes of the parents- you actually are forced to learn to BE a family. Without realizing it, this event that technically unites two families can actually serve to emotionally and spiritually unite them- it's the best kind of irony. So instead of chewing your fingernails and rolling your eyes over these interpersonal relationships, take this as an opportunity for you and your husband-to-be to hone your dialogue skills and connection and to forge an open line of communication with both sets of your folks. (Got lemons? Ta-Da: lemonade!)

Great Expectations: I'm guessing the reason your future in-laws haven't ponied up to offer their cash and their services is because they don't really know what is expected of them. Times have changed since the era in which our parents got married. Couples frequently front the cash for their own nuptials, and a lot of tradition has been turned on it's head. My parents had what was, in their day, a pretty large and elaborate tented wedding. But they had little input in the planning, it took place in the afternoon, and was a cocktail party- they tied the knot, took off for their honeymoon, and the whole thing was over before dinner. No seating cards, no favors, no "geegaws," as my mom calls them. When I got engaged, my folks and my husband's were incredibly generous and accommodating of everything we wanted, but they were a little surprised by the elaborateness and level of detail that has become the norm in today's weddings. It's quite possible that your future in-laws would be happy to help, but just don't even know where to start. Conversely, it's possible that they have reservations about the marriage, or have been feeling left out of the planning process. This might be particularly true if you and your groom have not sought their input into matters of tradition and aesthetic. In any case, the solution to this is to be open-minded and open-hearted and to open the lines of communication between you, your fiancé and them. One place to start the conversation is to include them in the personal side of the wedding plans- I invited my mother-in-law to go dress shopping with my mom and me and asked her to show me family wedding photos. If their religious or cultural background is different from yours, take the opportunity to learn about their traditions. Who knows? You might end up wanting to include a flower she had in her bouquet into yours, his favorite reading into your ceremony, or use family photos as decor at your reception. The more connected and involved they feel in the wedding plans, the more likely they are to want to help.

Money Matters: But, getting down to brass tacks, really, the responsibility of talking to the future in-laws about money should fall to your husband-to-be, not you. Assuming he has a decent relationship with them, he should just gently hint at the fact that the groom's family traditionally throws a rehearsal dinner, and that you guys would really love and appreciate their involvement in the wedding in general. If you would rather they contribute to the wedding costs, you can suggest that you and your groom throw a casual barbecue-style rehearsal dinner yourselves, and ask that they help host the wedding. An honest conversation about the pressure your mother is under financially should help motivate them. (Keep in mind that if they agree to co-host the wedding, you will need to include their names on the invitation, and incorporate their creative and traditional input into the event). Here's something important to remember- the amount of money or style of help they choose to give is entirely up to them. If you ask them to host the rehearsal dinner, then you must be prepared for them to do so how, where, and when they want. Ideally, they will seek your input, but don't expect to just be handed a credit card to throw the party you want for yourselves. And the same is true for the wedding- if you are getting married in a Wiccan ceremony and having a full bar (when they're Orthodox Jews who don't drink), it's not really fair or appropriate to ask them to split the check.

The Bright Side, Again: As awkward and stressful as this may feel, think of it this way: It's great practice. You may not want to have to hash things out with your fiancé's folks, but these people are about to become your family. Forever (hopefully). Down the road, when it comes time ask them to stop giving your kids candy and violent toys, or when you have to tell your elderly father-in-law that he can't drive himself anymore, you will be grateful that you built a foundation of open communication in the beginning. Good luck, and here's wishing you a lifetime of marital (and familial) bliss.

The Mousse Is Loose

Remember that time you said, "I wish I could find a dessert that was as light and fluffy as a cloud, as rich and creamy as cheesecake and as zesty and refreshing as a glass of lemonade?" Well, I just happened to be hiding in the bushes outside your window that night and I thought "I will make that wish come true." Well, actually, first I thought, "This person has the soul of a poet,"... But then I thought "I will make that wish come true."
So I made my way through the gumdrop forest, across the Slurpee sea and then through the treacherous Marshmallow Mountains to the Molton Chocolate Volcano, where I finally found exactly the dessert you've been waiting for: Lemon Mousse.
It's not hard to make (unless you really hate juicing and zesting lemons, in which case this probably isn't the dessert for you), but the result is a tangy-delicious-cheesecakesque-lemonade cloud that is sure to send you to the moon.

Top it with a dollop of fresh whipped cream and a few blueberries or a butter wafer cookie. I can't wait to hear what you think of it when I listen in on your phone calls tonight.

You Will Need:
1 teaspoon plain gelatin
1/2 cup (1 stick) unsalted butter
3/4 cup sugar
3 tablespoons fresh lemon zest
1/2 cup fresh lemon juice (from 3-4 lemons)
Pinch of salt
6 large egg yolks (save the whites to make healthy omelets or meringues)
3/4 cup heavy whipping cream


1. Pour gelatin into a small bowl, and stir in 2 tablespoons water. Allow to sit for about 10 minutes, until a gel forms.







2. Meanwhile, melt the butter in a large saucepan over low heat.







3. Once the butter is melted, remove the pan from the heat, and whisk in the sugar, lemon zest and juice, and the salt.







4. Whisk in the egg yolks until smooth.







5. Place the bowl containing the gelatin mixture into a larger bowl containing hot water, and stir until the gelatin has dissolved into a clear liquid.







6. Return the egg/butter mixture to the stove, and cook over low heat (being careful not to let the mixture boil), stirring constantly until it thickens enough to leave a clean path on the back of a wooden spoon when you run your finger over it. Remove the pan from the heat, and stir in the gelatin mixture.







7. Immediately pour the mixture through a fine sieve or strainer into a bowl, stirring, but not pressing through any lumps. Let cool to room temperature.










8. Beat the cream with an electric mixer until stiff peaks form.








9. Add the cream to the egg mixture in several batches, gently folding each batch into the mixture with a rubber spatula. When just combined, divide the mousse evenly into ramekins or pretty bowls or glasses (this should serve 4-6, depending on your bowl). Cover loosely and refrigerate for at least 2 hours and up to 2 days, until set and thoroughly chilled. Enjoy heaven with a spoon.

Dude, Where's My Blog?

To My Dearest Darling Readers:
I just want to shoot a quick note to apologize for my absence this week. I've been (gulp) working on a last-minute freelance job outside my house, and by the time I get home I've been too zonked to write anything intelligible. I'm sorry, but in these difficult times I have to take whatever work I can get -- Self-publishing a blog on the Internet isn't free, you know. I have to buy... um, er.... okay, fine, self-publishing a blog on the Internet IS free. But wallpaper and vanilla extract are not, and what would I have to blog about without them (not to mention, why would I want to go on living on this earth)? So I stoically put on my hard hat and head back into the mines.
But, fear not, I'll be back tomorrow with plenty of excitement to share from all my adventures venturing outside the four walls of my abode. And I'll be living large with my hefty new paycheck: Extract shots for everyone!

A Shear Thing

I love a good kitchen gadget- give me an apple peeler-corer, or an egg slicer or a whipped cream maker and I'll be entertained for hours. But the truth is that you don't ever really NEED any of those things, and you can get almost any cooking task accomplished, as long as you have a few solid and high-quality basics: a chef's knife, a paring knife, a serrated knife, and a good pair of kitchen shears. And (arguably) the greatest of these is shears.
You can use a sharp pair of scissors to do almost everything in the kitchen- butcher a chicken, mince herbs, snip the ends off green beans, cut parchment paper or twine, open packages, or `even cut wire or trim flower stems in a pinch (just don't tell my mom I do that). The trick is to get a good-quality stainless steel pair that come apart, so you can throw them in the dishwasher after every use without fear of rust, and sharpen the blades just like knives when they get dull from cutting wire (even though your mom told you not to). I also like pairs with non-slip handles (for when your hands are covered in chicken goo) and built-in bottle openers, for enjoying a tall frosty one when you're done. Here are three worthy pairs. Owning any of them would be shear luck.

Top left, Titanium kitchen shears, $13.50, from Williams-Sonoma; Right, Wusthof come-apart shears, $19.95 from Amazon.com; Bottom left, Shun Classic 'Taskmaster' shears, $39.95 from Sur La Table.

Don't-Bleed-Your-Wallet-Dry Cleaning

There's a reason the expression "taken to the cleaners" means ripped off. And that reason is that dry cleaning, while a necessary part of life if you want to look presentable, can be insanely expensive. Sometimes I literally find myself thinking, I bought this sweater at H&M for $19. Am I really about to spend $10 to get it cleaned? Because I'm cheap like that. It's a fierce battle, but usually my cheapness trumps my laziness, and I end up washing the darn thing myself. And while, for your sanity, certain garments are best left to the professionals (like suits, anything with heavy beading or embellishments or a ton of pleats) there are ways to limit the amount of dough you have to shell out, and take some shortcuts at home.* Plus, dry cleaning chemicals are toxic (do you really want them all over your clothes?) and harmful to the environment, so limiting your dry cleaning habit is good for your bank account, your health and the planet. Here are the techniques I employ at home to keep my wallet from getting cleaned out.

1. Read the Labels: If the label says "dry clean" that means you can definitely wash it at home. If it says "dry clean only" there's still a chance that you can clean it yourself. A general rule is that wool, acrylic, cashmere, cotton and polyester can be easily washed at home. Silk and rayon require a little more care, but can sometimes be hand-washed.

2. Use Your Dryer: If the clothes are unstained and just kind of maloderous (due to last night's trip to a cigar bar, or your sprint for the bus), you can use one of the at-home dry cleaning kits at work in your dryer: Dryel or FreshCare. Read the instructions, but they are generally safe with most fabrics, and will leave your clothes unwrinkled, and smelling fresher than if you spray them with Febreze.

3. Handwash Your Sweaters: Here's a secret- hand-washing actually will make your wool and cashmere sweaters softer. Just fill a deep sink or bathtub with room temperature water (not hot!), and add your sweater to it. Put in a small amount of soap (Woolite is nice, but you can also use a gentle shampoo), and gently spot treat just using your hands and by rubbing the fabric against itself. After the sweater has soaked for a while and is clean, rinse them with cool water and lay them flat on a clean towel, then roll the towel to dry. Allow the sweater to lay flat until dry. To save time, do several sweaters at once.

4. Silky tops: Use the same method as with sweaters to wash your silk items, but after you rinse them, pat them dry with a towel and hang on a padded hanger to dry.

*I also take personal umbrage that our dry cleaning establishment will wash and press my husband's shirts for $1.50 each, while my button-up collared shirts are categorized as "blouses" and cost $6. If I were less lazy, I would start a boycott based on the sexism inherent in that, but then I'd be stuck washing and pressing all JM's shirts myself. And they deliver for free, so I'll give them a pass.

photo credit: Nanopedia.case.edu - a site dedicated to the idea of using nanotechnology to create self-cleaning fabrics. So hopefully this whole post will soon be moot.

Friday Styles: For the Dogs

Most of the time, writing this blog is one of the high points of my day. It is my hobby and my great escape. But, for some reason, all the pleasure and joy I take in blogging goes out the window on Fridays, like a miracle in reverse. So my latest solution to this problem is to start a new feature: Friday Styles. These posts will feature something that I own that I think is awesome, and that I think you should probably buy, too. Hopefully, this will also help me rediscover all the great stuff I have stashed away in my place, and remember to be grateful for it. I hope you enjoy.

I know that ever since we adopted our beagle, Skipper, I have turned into one of those new parents who gushes over every silly thing their little darling does as if it's worthy of national media coverage. I mean, I think my dog is a genius and the cutest thing that ever lived, but I'm not so far gone that I don't realize that you might not share my opinion when she jumps onto your lap, rips your tights and licks your face with kibble-breath.
And, as much as I love man's best friend, I was very resistant to all of the accessories one is required to acquire when one invites a canine to share one's abode. I tried to go minimalist, but once we got the crate, the bed, the bag, the bowls, the food bins, the baby gate, the leashes and, ugh, doggy clothes into our apartment, I realized that a 19-lb dog actually requires 100 lbs of junk. As I pondered this, I heard JM emit a long, tortured sigh from the other side of the mountain of dog stuff.
Happily, I found a charming and rich-looking dog bed that looks perfect on the oriental rug in our living room, at, of all places, Petco, for just $49. So much better looking than most of the standard-issue options, it's a plush, comfy spot where Skip loves to lounge. It's rugged enough that I can just run the vacuum over it, and the cover is removable, so I can wash it if it ever gets truly filthy. It's Skip's second-favorite place to sit in the living room. After your lap.

No Ifs, Ands or Buttons

Maybe we haven't known each other that long, but I like you, and I don't want to see you played for a fool. That's why I think it's imperative that you stop throwing your money away sending clothes to the tailor that you could easily fix yourself for free. You know who you are- your skirt gets a little droopy hem, or you pop a spaghetti strap on the dance floor, or, worst of all, a button falls off your fave cardy, and you immediately go running to the professionals.
All of these sewing tasks are totally simple and entirely doable by you as long as you have a very basic sewing kit and at least one finger and thumb. And each of them can be accomplished in the time it takes one American Idol contestant to butcher your favorite song (you might even be grateful for the distraction).
Luckily, I found this illustration on Esquire.com, and I figure if their readers are up to the task of rebuttoning themselves, so are mine. So I stole it, because I am not above theft when it comes to helping my friends. Don't worry, you can pay me back later.

Step 1. Thread your needle with a thread that matches the button (or whatever color has been used on the other buttons) Don't worry if the color is slightly off (i.e. navy vs. black)- no one will ever notice. Double the thread over and tie the ends together in a knot. Find the exact spot where the button should go by matching it up with the button hole. Insert the needle through the fabric from the back (so the knot doesn't show on the front), and stitch an "X" to anchor the button.

Step 2: Thread the needle through one of the holes in the button (if the button has 4 holes, take note of how the garment's other buttons are sewn on- do the stitches form an "X" or two parallel lines- you will want to copy it so this button matches). Then stitch up and down through the holes in the button and the fabric loosely at least 4 or 5 times, keeping the button pulled about 1/8 - 1/4" away from the fabric (you can insert a toothpick or matchstick to help you keep the right distance).

Step 3: When the button feels well affixed, thread the needle down through one of the holes in the button, but not through the fabric, so the thread is coming out from between the button and the fabric. Then wind the thread around the loose stitches several times (this creates a "shank" and leaves enough space for the button hole without putting pressure on the fabric).

Step 4. Insert the needle through the wound shank you have created a few times, securing the thread. Snip the loose thread near the shank with scissors so there are no loose ends. Ain't that a kick in the buttons?

Here's a bonus tip: Keep a glass jar with a lid (like a mustard or baby food jar) in your sewing kit. When a garment comes with extra buttons, add them to the jar. Pretty soon you'll have a large enough collection to replace almost any fastener that goes missing. Plus a jars of buttons make for pretty cute objets in my fantasy craft room.

Photo credit: Country Living
Illustration credit: Esquire.com

Ask Me Anything: Meet The Parents

In case you are new here, Ask Me Anything is a feature on this site where I field reader questions to the best of my ability. The questioners get moderately useful information, and I get out of thinking up my own topic for one day, and get to act like a total know-it-all. So everybody wins. Email your own burning questions to lily@acharmedwife.com, or leave a comment on the site, and I will do my best to relieve the burning. For today's installment, we hear from reader Stephanie.

Hi Lily,

I love your blog and have a burning question to which I cannot find a solid answer online.

Here's the situation: I'm meeting my boyfriend's parents for the first time. Scary. They live out of town, so it is a flight for us there and we will be staying with them for the weekend. Could you possibly do a column with some advice for this case? What is a nice gift to bring (that travels well to boot) without it looking like I tried too hard?

Any advice you could offer would be greatly appreciated!

Thanks so much,

Stephanie

Dear Stephanie,
I feel your jitters- there are few experiences in this world as nerve-wracking as the first time you meet a boyfriend or girlfriend's parents! Countless sitcoms (and more than a couple of very funny movies) have plumbed the topic- exploring the worst-case scenarios, and freaking people out the world over. But, while it is a momentous occasion (after all, if all goes well, these could be your children's grandparents), meeting mom and pop doesn't have to be a terrorizing experience, and can actually be a lot of fun. And if you're as lucky as I am, you might just end up with a couple of really wonderful new friends.
But don't worry, even if it isn't an immediate love connection between you and the folks, you will most definitely be able to find some things you like or admire about his parents. After all, these are the people who raised the man you love, right? And the good news is that they will most likely be coming into this a little nervous about meeting you, too.

Here are some things to keep in mind while you're there:

Come Bearing Gifts: You have the right idea about showing up with a gift. Your boyfriend should be able to help you out on this by telling you what they like- for example, if they are into cooking, the latest gadget from Sur La Table, personalized aprons or a cookbook is nice. If they like gardening, try some cute his-and-hers gardening gloves or a pretty potted plant (delivered ahead of time), or, if they are oenophiles, a pretty silver wine stopper or monogrammed coasters are nice. A gift that shows that you have asked about them gives you an easy way to get them talking about their passions, and shows you care. If your boyfriend doesn't provide any inspiration, you can't go wrong with a gift basket of gourmet foods from Dean & DeLuca (or local specialties from your town). I'd avoid anything decorative until you get a look at their house and know their tastes. And don't forget to send a sweet thank-you note after it's all over telling them what a wonderful time you had (even if it was like 48 painful hours of dental surgery).
Live By Their Rules: Sleep where they tell you to- a couple of nights in separate beds won't kill you. If they take their shoes off in the house, you do it, too. If you're allergic to their beloved Siamese, take a Claritin, grab a tissue, and power through it and (unless you actually get hives or something) and try not to complain- it's just a couple nights. Keep your room tidy, make your bed every morning, and don't spend 45 minutes in the shower.
Do What They Want To Do: You're there to spend time with his folks- don't try to impose your own timeline or demands on them. Eat when and where they want to eat, watch the hockey game they want to watch, and just go along with it when his mom insists on showing you twenty photo albums of your beau in his Urkel phase. Be a good sport, smile and laugh, and you may find you're actually having a good time. There are limits, though: If you're a vegetarian, you certainly don't have to choke down a rib-eye - just take a bigger helping of mashed potatoes and be gracious about it.
Cut Him Some Slack: Something about stepping into their parent's house can transform the most mature, successful man into a whiny and moody tween. Bite your tongue when he lets his mom do his laundry or bring him beers on the couch. Respect that he's probably nervous too, and realize you aren't going to win any points with his parents by nagging or berating him in front of them (you can give him hell for not telling them that you're a vegetarian when you get home).
Be Helpful: Offer to set or clear the table or help however you can. Since I mostly see my in-laws around holidays, I actually love cooking and doing dishes with my mother-in-law, since that's where we get to really chat and catch up in all the hustle and bustle. But if they insist you sit down and stop helping, don't push your help on them- they might take it the wrong way.
Be Polite, But Not Stiff. When in doubt use the "Mr. and Mrs." until they instruct you otherwise (but once they tell you to, do use their first names). They want to get to know what you're like- don't get shy or clam up completely in their presence. Feel free to crack a joke or two (or at least a smile), and tell them about yourself. But don't be too hard on yourself if you aren't perfect. The first time I met my in-laws, I talked non-stop through dinner, then forgot my bag under the table when we left and had to go back to the restaurant to get it. So they learned pretty quickly what a spazz I am, and, happily, they seem to like me anyway.

Honestly, Stephanie, the fact that you even had the consideration to write this question shows me that you have nothing to worry about- relax and be yourself, you're going to be just fine!

photo credit: via Song of the Exile

The "Right Now" Rule

I'm a world-class procrastinator. For instance, I've been meaning to write this post all day, but instead I have found a million other things to do: responding to emails, walking the dog, playing Facebook Scrabble, folding laundry and watching "The Age of Innocence" on HBO, all of which took precedence. I've been known to go a full year between haircuts, and sometimes I don't make the bed until right before we're going to get back into it. It's not that I'm lazy, it's just that I'm... well, okay, sometimes I'm kind of lazy.
However, when it comes to house cleaning, I've discovered that sometimes the truly lazy thing to do is to tackle things right away. No, I'm not trying to be intentionally ironic here (like some creepy hipster with a lumberjack mustache) - bear with me and I'll explain. In the process of trying to minimize the actual amount of time I spend performing tedious housecleaning tasks, I've discovered that the sooner you tackle a mess after it is made, the faster and easier it is to clean up. For example, it only takes a second to rinse the bowl and spoon after you finish your oatmeal in the morning, but if you leave it in the sink all day instead, you will be scraping that gunk off for days. Or when you spill a little cake batter on the cabinet, you can either grab and paper towel and wipe it off easily now, or spend valuable TV-watching hours scouring with a scrunge it later, once it has hardened and adhered itself to the paint. The same goes for pasta sauce on your favorite blouse, mud on your galoshes, or red wine on the slipcovers - I call it the "Right Now" Rule. As tempting as it can be to leave a mess for later, I always remind myself of all the time and effort I will save by getting my patooti off the couch and dealing with it immediately. The long-term laziness in me can usually beat out the short-term. (The only acceptable exception to this rule is when you have guests - nothing kills a party like having the hostess down on her knees scrubbing cocktail sauce out of the rug - it can wait, just this once). Once you get in this good habit, you'll find yourself with a cleaner house, less frustration, and plenty of extra time on your hands that you can blissfully and guiltlessly waste. Scrabble, anyone?

P.S. Happy birthday to my wonderful big brother!
photo credit: Country Living

Paperless Press: Online Magazines

I've always been a little bit obsessed with magazines- I think it all started with my subscription to Highlights for Children when I was six. Since then, I've been a faithful reader of all kinds of magazines- first Jane and Seventeen, then Cosmo, Travel and Leisure, Bon Appétit, Vanity Fair, Real Simple, and even my college boyfriend's Maxim, to name a few. I even worked at Martha Stewart Weddings for four years after graduating college, so great was my love of the printed word (and picture).

But the last couple of years have been tough ones for magazine lovers- one of my faves Domino went under, and then Condé Nast folded the institution Gourmet and several other titles. It was chaos- there was a confetti of glossy paper falling from the sky and ink was running in the streets. I started hoarding my collection of mags, and trolling eBay for the ones I'm missing. But last fall, amid this magazine apocalypse, a bright spot, and an exciting new genre arrived on the scene: the online magazine. As someone who loves the feel and smell and dogear-ability of a physical magazine, I was skeptical at first, but these publications have won me over, and, if they haven't already, they will get you, too. First of all, they take up no space in your apartment (and therefore require no justification to your husband), they are filled with beautiful ideas, and they're free! What's not to love?

Here are the two online mags I am obsessed with right now:
Lonny, a home and shopping mag from a former Domino editor, just released it's third issue, and seeing it posted, I admit I felt that same warm rush I felt when a "real" mag arrived in my mailbox.
And Nonpareil, an online weddings mag is filled with great ideas for all kinds of parties and entertaining, comes from the girls behind the Inspired Bride and Paper Crave blogs.

I guess it's time I get with the times. Turns out even Highlights has a website.

Crustacean Adoration

I love to cook dinner for my husband, but I'm always trying to strike that balance between keeping it economical (otherwise, why not just order in?), keeping it healthy, and keeping it interesting. But in the two and a half years that we've been married, I have started to feel like I'm running low on options: We both try to limit the red meat we eat, fish gets expensive (and smelly), and I've cooked so much chicken, it's a wonder we both haven't sprouted feathers. But the other day in the grocery store's frozen section, I stumbled upon a brand new idea that really has legs: bags of frozen shrimp.
Don't ever waste your money on the "fresh" shrimp at the seafood counter- as a matter of practice, all shrimp are flash frozen, (they have just pre-thawed them) so this is one case in which buying frozen is the right move. A bag of frozen shrimp is about $10-15 at the store, which may seem pricey, but there are enough shrimp in there for 4 to 5 meals for two (taking you down to, like, $3/meal). And since you can cook the shrimp from frozen, you can quickly and easily just grab the amount of shrimp you want, reseal the bag, and put the rest back in the freezer.
There are at least a hundred delicious meals you can make with your shrimp (not to mention my favorite old-school appetizer of all time, shrimp cocktail). Here are just a few of the dinners I have gotten out of one bag of shrimp, but this versatile and delicious crustacean goes well on just about anything- the sky's the limit. Or maybe the bottom of the ocean is the limit. Whatever.

Shrimp Scampi: Quickly boil and peel your shrimp, then saute them with butter, minced garlic, lemon juice and white wine. Serve over pasta or rice, and top with Parmesan cheese. Shrimp Tacos: Boil and peel shrimp according to package directions. Serve in warm tortillas with cheese, black beans, shredded cabbage, and pineapple salsa. Shrimp Cobb Salad: Cook shrimp according to package. Serve on top of greens with hard-boiled eggs, avocado, tomato, blue cheese and bacon (if you like). Top with vinaigrette. Shrimp Rolls: Boil and peel the shrimp, and then run under cold water until cooled. Cut up the shrimp to small pieces, and combine with minced red onion, celery, parsley and mayonnaise. Serve on toasted and buttered hot dog buns.

Uh-oh, I think I might be growing an exoskeleton.

photo credit: myrecipes.com

Super Bowl

Here's another very useful little tip I picked up during my brief stint in cooking school. You may have noticed that I don't have a lot of good habits in the kitchen, so when I actually do something properly, I like to brag about it. Kind of like when I wear socks that actually match, and I insist on pulling up my pant legs to show them to my husband and go, "What do you think? Nice, right?"

While preparing a meal, I always place a big mixing bowl next to my cutting board into which I dump the wrappers, onion skins, and veggie scraps that I discard during cooking. Even though there is a garbage can right in my kitchen island, it really saves a surprising amount of time and effort using the bowl, instead (plus, I don't have to touch the cabinet door with tomato juice or nasty chicken goo on my hands). I also like being able to peel things over the bowl, which keeps my cutting boards and counter tops cleaner while I cook. This is pretty standard practice in restaurant kitchens, where they really have to be efficient and organized.

I have since learned that Rachel Ray does this on her show, as well, and even sells a special "garbage bowl" in her product line on QVC. But let me assure you about two things I know for sure: She was not the inventor of this idea - some genius cooking Frenchman was, many many, years ago. And pretty much any old bowl will do- you don't need to start watching television home shopping channels to get in on this action (although I would stick to metal, glass or ceramic- plastic can get scratches that trap bacteria). Just use something you've already got, and remember to throw it in the dishwasher afterward. Try it- it may just bowl you over.

A Win-Win Situation: Graphic Image Giveaway Winners!

And now the moment we've all been waiting for: the announcement of the winners of this weekend's Graphic Image giveaway! For those curious about how I chose the winners, I used this random number generator to pick for me. That way, I didn't have to judge your responses on perceived "quality", or how much I agreed with your trip ideas (and wanted to take the same trip and stay in an adjoining hotel room from you make my husband duet on singing "A Whole New World" to you through the air vents every morning. Sounds fun, huh?).

Anyway, without further ado:

2nd Prize, of a passport color in your choice of leather and color with your monogram if you choose, goes to Entry # 14, "S" who can use it for her dreamy getaway to Australia (or Salt Lake City. Either one. Or both. Although you don't need a passport to go to Salt Lake City. Unless you live in another country).

1st Prize, of a gorge leather travel clutch (in your choice of leather and color), goes to entry #23, Jamie!

Congratulations, ladies! Email me at lily@acharmedwife.com to claim your goodies, you lucky ducklings!

And for those of you who didn't win, don't forget that Graphic Image is having a massive sale right now, and you can get free shipping with the code "charmedwife" through the end of the month. And, remember, you're all winners to me.

Happy travels!